Destroying Fear in Order to Discover Myself

What’s good y’all?!?!?!?

Man, it’s been a long time; a brotha’s been busy. I’ve been hustlin’, grinding, soaking up local color, and growing. I just came back from a week long vacation in my hometown, Kansas City, MO. I was starting to become boggled down by the fast pace and intense pressures of New York. It was mandatory to be around friends and family, they are the ones who can remind you of your true self. In New York, I was beginning to lose myself; I was like an android. I was becoming lost in the intimidation of New York. I wasn’t working on my craft; I was worrying about bills, my next paycheck, and doubting both my talents and my abilities as an adult. I kept asking myself, “Do I have what it takes? Can I really live in New York?” When those negative thoughts start to manipulate you into thinking that they are your true thoughts it is important for you to take a break and recharge. You have to take those thoughts captive and replace them with real truth.

I’m happy to inform everyone that I’ve finally landed a new gig. I am performing with a great company called Starlight Orchestras. It is a company that performs for weddings, private events, and corporate events. You won’t believe it, but I’m singing and rapping in the band. Yeah, I can’t believe it either. I’m having a blast being Akil (my rapping alter ego) on stage. It is challenging, but I welcome it.

My journey in New York has been amazing and stressful at the same time. It seems like my life has become nothing, but leaps of faith. Leaving school to chase my dream in New York was a huge leap of faith. I’m learning to trust God whole-heartedly when there is no sign of direction at that present moment. I can say that that has been the hardest lesson that I had to learn. As a man, we have a hard time letting go of things; we want to fix whatever is broken. We want to be the savior or hero to save the day. We become frustrated when the problem is out of our control. Not being able to let go and let God was the thief that was robbing me of peace of mind. In the process of change, I’m learning more and more about God and myself.

Guess what? I’m finally working on some new music. I know y’all are like, “Finally, MAN!!!” I’m finally being obedient. I now understand what was hindering my creativity. I was what was hindering me from creating. I let fear and self-doubt take complete control of my life leaving me a walking dead man. I wasn’t living; I was living a life of “unpleasant feelings of apprehension and distress.” Fear is not of God and living in complete panic isn’t living at all. I had to be reintroduced to the man God called me to be.

I think I’m starting to understand who I am as an artist. I’m beginning to identify what I want and how I want it created. I believe that once you identify who you are in Christ you will soon be able to understand who you are as an artist. I’m loving this process. I’m beginning to live again and that is truly amazing!


When creating a song you are forced to expose wounds and unveil the truths of your life. My goal is to expose my wounds in order for those to be healed and inspired. I’m working on one particular song with a cat named, Jamba; it is bananas (sorry, New York slang)! It is currently untitled. The song tackles the tiresome cycle of falling in love with someone who falls in love with someone else. Instead of becoming their man you become her best friend. That is my story…. That has happened to me about 5 times, I’m not joking. I can’t wait till you hear it.

Anyway, I’m going to wrap it up here, folks. I promise that I won’t keep you in the dark anymore. Shame on me! I will be sure to keep you informed on my latest blessings, wounds, and lessons. I appreciate your prayers and your love, I truly feel it over here. I can’t wait to see what God is about to do!!!!!


Peace,

Rah


P.S. I finally got to meet one of my greatest influences, Van Hunt ( my older brother). He ripped it at S.O.B’s!!!!
Oh... y'all got to check out an artist by the name of Janelle Monae She is amazing!!! DON'T SLEEP!!!!