The Personal Blog of Raffeal Sears

Living Out My Dreams

2008-06-12T22:01:00.001-07:00

Destroying Fear in Order to Discover Myself

2008-05-14T18:07:00.000-07:00

What’s good y’all?!?!?!?

Man, it’s been a long time; a brotha’s been busy. I’ve been hustlin’, grinding, soaking up local color, and growing. I just came back from a week long vacation in my hometown, Kansas City, MO. I was starting to become boggled down by the fast pace and intense pressures of New York. It was mandatory to be around friends and family, they are the ones who can remind you of your true self. In New York, I was beginning to lose myself; I was like an android. I was becoming lost in the intimidation of New York. I wasn’t working on my craft; I was worrying about bills, my next paycheck, and doubting both my talents and my abilities as an adult. I kept asking myself, “Do I have what it takes? Can I really live in New York?” When those negative thoughts start to manipulate you into thinking that they are your true thoughts it is important for you to take a break and recharge. You have to take those thoughts captive and replace them with real truth.

I’m happy to inform everyone that I’ve finally landed a new gig. I am performing with a great company called Starlight Orchestras. It is a company that performs for weddings, private events, and corporate events. You won’t believe it, but I’m singing and rapping in the band. Yeah, I can’t believe it either. I’m having a blast being Akil (my rapping alter ego) on stage. It is challenging, but I welcome it.

My journey in New York has been amazing and stressful at the same time. It seems like my life has become nothing, but leaps of faith. Leaving school to chase my dream in New York was a huge leap of faith. I’m learning to trust God whole-heartedly when there is no sign of direction at that present moment. I can say that that has been the hardest lesson that I had to learn. As a man, we have a hard time letting go of things; we want to fix whatever is broken. We want to be the savior or hero to save the day. We become frustrated when the problem is out of our control. Not being able to let go and let God was the thief that was robbing me of peace of mind. In the process of change, I’m learning more and more about God and myself.

Guess what? I’m finally working on some new music. I know y’all are like, “Finally, MAN!!!” I’m finally being obedient. I now understand what was hindering my creativity. I was what was hindering me from creating. I let fear and self-doubt take complete control of my life leaving me a walking dead man. I wasn’t living; I was living a life of “unpleasant feelings of apprehension and distress.” Fear is not of God and living in complete panic isn’t living at all. I had to be reintroduced to the man God called me to be.

I think I’m starting to understand who I am as an artist. I’m beginning to identify what I want and how I want it created. I believe that once you identify who you are in Christ you will soon be able to understand who you are as an artist. I’m loving this process. I’m beginning to live again and that is truly amazing!

When creating a song you are forced to expose wounds and unveil the truths of your life. My goal is to expose my wounds in order for those to be healed and inspired. I’m working on one particular song with a cat named, Jamba; it is bananas (sorry, New York slang)! It is currently untitled. The song tackles the tiresome cycle of falling in love with someone who falls in love with someone else. Instead of becoming their man you become her best friend. That is my story…. That has happened to me about 5 times, I’m not joking. I can’t wait till you hear it.

Anyway, I’m going to wrap it up here, folks. I promise that I won’t keep you in the dark anymore. Shame on me! I will be sure to keep you informed on my latest blessings, wounds, and lessons. I appreciate your prayers and your love, I truly feel it over here. I can’t wait to see what God is about to do!!!!!

Peace,

Rah

P.S. I finally got to meet one of my greatest influences, Van Hunt ( my older brother). He ripped it at S.O.B’s!!!!
Oh... y'all got to check out an artist by the name of Janelle Monae She is amazing!!! DON'T SLEEP!!!!

The Waiting Game

2007-10-30T17:35:00.000-07:00

What's good, Y'all?!?!

I know it's been a long time since I last talked to you. A lot has been going on in my life, a lot of lessons learned. Can you believe that last August marked my one year anniversary in New York. Time goes so fast. I believe that I have officially learned to be on the grind in New York. I've been working doubles, auditioning, and networking in order to get closer to my dreams.

I'm not going to lie to you, this has been the hardest year of my life. We have it rough in this business. We have to experience rejection on a daily in order to get an acceptance in the future. It is emotionally and spiritually draining. Every time a door closes I have to pick myself up and encourage myself. It is far to easy to become discouraged in this land of opportunity. I almost have to give myself a pep talk every now and again to keep me sane. I have to remind myself that God has called me to use my talents and I have to remind myself that my time will come only if I remain faithful to Him.

I realized that life is a waiting game. Yes, waiting builds your charachter. And yes, it makes you want it more; It gives you the drive. Y'all, I have been impatient at times waiting on God. I find myself wondering, "God, when will my time start? When will opportunities open up for me?" I know, I sound like a big ole baby, huh? But that is real. I have to get it into my thick head that God's timing is perfect. He will unfold His plan for me when I am ready. He will unleash a plethora of blessings my way when I am faithful with the little things.

The hardest part of this journey is loneliness. I do have some friends, but I don't see them on the regular like I would see my friends on campus when I was at Belmont. In the midst of this loneliness, I believe that God is trying to get me alone so I can be content with Him, so that He can be sufficent. I have been praying that God would provide like-minded, positive people around me everyday. For the time being, Jesus has got to be all that I need.

Hey y'all, I had my first show two weeks ago. I performed along other independent artists in Brooklyn. I had sooooo much fun. It felt so good to be on that stage again. I do believe that I was going through "performance withdrawl" for a minute. When I'm onstage, I'm free; I'm at home. I didn't want to leave that stage and I sure didn't want to leave "Dreamsville" and go back to "Worksville." I can't wait until my passion becomes my job.

Hey guys, I'm getting back to my acting. I am so excited; I have abandoned acting for years. I start taking acting classes at Stella Adler in January. For those who don't know, Theater was my major in college prior to Belmont. One day, I woke up and I was like, "Why not?" I didn't realize how much I missed it until I auditioned for a Spike Lee film in Brooklyn. Can you believe it? Spike Lee???!?!?The film was based off of a book titled, "Miracle at St. Anna." The story covered the African American soldiers' involvement in World War II. Like an actor, I prepared for the role. I cut off my hair and all of my facial hair except a 1940's thin mustache. I read the book and researched WWII, the clothes, and the stories told by African Americans in the war. I wanted it SOOOOO bad, I couldn't hardly sleep at night. That was when I realized that acting still burned inside of me; it was still my passion. I didn't get the part, but that passion gave me the fuel to keep going.

I have to learn to embrace this struggle. I have to love the ups and downs of my life. These moments of discomforts and disappointments are making me into the man that God has called me to be. These moments are creating my story. I have to be content. God, is doing His thing; I have to trust Him. What is for me is for me. No one can take that away from me, not even myself. Keep praying for me and my families as I pray for you and yours.

Love y'all
Ra

P.S. Oh...this year has been an exciting year for music. Jill Scott's new album, "The Real Thing" is amazing. My wife, Alicia Keys (Sears)'s (lol) album is coming out on November 13th. My girl, Mary J. Blige's album, "Growing Pains" will be in stores on November 20th. Don't miss out on these albums.

Subscribe to my Podcast

2007-06-20T14:00:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,
I just started my own podcast. Crazy huh?? I know that I've been a little slow with updating you. Please forgive me. My podcast will also be a way for you to keep yourself updated on what's going down with me. You can subscribe to my podcast on my blog, my myspace, or itunes. I'm trying to do the hi-tech stuff now (lol).

Talk to y'all later,
Ra

Subscribe Free
Add to my Page

The Dreamgirls Audition

2007-04-08T21:02:00.000-07:00

What’s good y’all?

I know it’s been a long time. I’m guilty of neglect. I’m been mad busy, on the grind. Let’s see, what’s been going on in crazy world of Raffeal. I had my first call back for a show. I auditioned for Gateway Productions' Dreamgirls. I was so excited. I went in there and showed them what I had or thought I had. I came into the vocal audition with Sam Cooke’s humorous but flirtatious song, “Please Don’t You Drive Me Away.” I lost myself in that song, I was making faces all over the place. Y’all know I can make some ugly faces when I sing.

After I sang the last note the director said, “Could you come back at 3:30 for movements?” “Yes,” I quickly replied. Yes, rolled off of my lips so fast that I almost ignored the fact that I had to go to work at 3. “Oh Lord, what am I going to do?” I needed to find someone to cover at least the first 3 hours of my shift so I could be able to come back to the callbacks.

I rushed down the stairs and started calling everyone at work; I was getting nowhere. I kept getting voicemails and the same answer, “Well, I can’t. I made plans.” I was about to go crazy. I knew that I couldn’t miss this opportunity. It would have eaten me up if I went to work and missed the callbacks. I couldn’t miss this opportunity, this is what I came to New York for. As soon as I stopped worrying about it, one of my co-workers decided to cover my shift. See, I need to quit tripping and trust that God is going to work things out.

So I get back to the audition, still wearing the same clothes that I wore for the vocal audition. I spent all of my time searching for someone to cover my shift that it prevented me from going back home, to the Bronx, to get some dance clothes. It was a funny sight. I was the only one in jeans and dress shoes. I was a mess. Everybody’s all comfortable stretching and all and here I am in some jeans trying to do “movements”.

The choreographer came in and showed us what he wanted us to learn. “This ain’t movements… this is dancing!" I said in my head. "I thought they said movements, not dancing.” I was expecting some Temptations or The Four Tops kind of “movements” not Alvin Ailey. Besides, I was auditioning for Cee Cee; Cee Cee doesn’t dance. I didn't do my research; in the original Broadway cast, Cee Cee dances in "Step Into The Bad Side." I was so off guard.

When I say that I was a mess, I was a mess. When the other dancers turned right; I turned left. They shifted with the balls of their feet; I shifted with my heel. Have you ever seen the episode of I Love Lucy, when Lucy goes to take ballet lessons? You know, the one where she gets her foot caught in the bar and she’s falling out everywhere? Yep, that was quite similar to what I looked like.

Umm...I don’t think dance is my calling and I’m cool with that. Well, at least they liked my singing. I know I was a mess, up there trying to be Mikhail Baryshnikov (do your research if you don't know who he is.) Shoot, if I was the casting director, I wouldn’t put me in the show either. I must admit, I need to take some dance lessons. Maybe one day, I’ll be as good as Alvin Ailey or shoot, Alvin Love (lol). I ain't going to lie, I was disappointed that I didn’t get into the show, but I was fine. I know what God has for me is for me. I just enjoyed laughing at myself. Man, I wished y'all could have seen it.

Peace,
RA
P.S. Keep praying for me...I feel them.

Realizing Who I Am.. Forgeting Who I Think I Am

2007-03-07T21:23:00.002-08:00

What's good fam?
I'm doing well, y'all. Been on the grind here in New York. It's been rough, but I know that everything is necessery for my growth. It's a hustle up here in New York. If you see someone working hard at what you want to do, it is mandatory for you to work harder than them. The ones that hustle win. I do understand that the hustle can cause one to become so busy that he leaves God out of journey. I will tell you the truth, that happened to me. All those times that I hit a bump was probably those times when I relied on myself instead of the Lord. Jesus was like, "Little boy, if you don't quit trying to take charge."

Thanks for you guys' prayers and encouragement, the journey is becoming a little easier. Recently, I've been reading a book called, "Victory Over the Darkness" by Neil T. Anderson. It's been BLOWING MY MIND. I read the book about two years ago, but man, God's been revealing alot to me this time. The book emphasizes the importance of the power of understanding your identity in Christ. It goes through the Bible and reminds us of what God said we are after we accept him. We easily forget who we are. We are in a world that wants to be impressed. We base who we are by what the world says we are. We base who we are on what we feel we are. The book is challenging me each day to remember that I am a son of Christ, I am joint heirs to him, and I am adopted into the family of Christ and the devil can't touch me. Whoo! That's powerful! The challenging part about this is the fact that I have to believe this everyday, even when my feelings says otherwise. Get the book. Half.com has it for $1.92.

Hmm...in other news, Melinda Doolittle has been killing it on American Idol hasn't she? Y'all BETTA BE VOTING! She is representing Belmont University.

I just started writing again. I know it's been along time since "Do You Wanna Go," but I'm getting the inspiration back. I truly, believe that I was the problem. I was getting in the way of writing new songs. I made it up in my head that I couldn't write. I believed the lie that I wasn't good enough. I kept saying that I had writer's block. Writer's block ain't nothing but fear. See that is why it is important to understand who you truly are. So yeah, I'm getting back to it. Please pray that the creative floodgates open. (PRAYER REQUEST TIME) Pray that God would place me around folks who believe in my dream and those who would be willing to help me along my journey into this industry.

Well, I just wanted to keep y'all updated since I haven't talked to y'all in a while. Oooh.. before I forget, check out these artists. I've been listening to their music recently and it's been blowing my mind. Musiq, Eric Roberson, and Amy Winehouse's albums are coming out this month, so you BETTA BUY IT!!! Don't sleep on this music. Thanks to VH1.com you have the privilege to listen to Amy and Musiq's albums before they come out. Just click on the links below. Leave a comment and let me know what you think.

Amy Winehouse
Musiq Soulchild
Chester Gregory
Steph Jones
Eric Roberson
Afta 1

Peace,
RA

Overcoming Myself and My Own Understanding

2007-01-29T22:56:00.000-08:00

Today was difficult. I was left with confusion, regret, and discouragement gnawing at my heart and my mind. I was on the verge of throwing in the towel, giving up. I wanted so badly to give up. I didn't want to die or anything; I almost wanted to give up on pursing my dreams. I think that this was the lowest point of my life, mentally and spiritually. I was so overwhelmed with the pressures of my life. I was worried about my bills, my mom, my disobedience, and my incompetent career as an actor and singer. It just looked like nothing was turning out quite like I expected it. The option of going back to Belmont was becoming an option. I was considering going back to my comfort zone.

I was so overcome with discouragement that I couldn’t think correctly. Hope seemed to have left me, while trouble seemed to keep following me. I felt like I was destined for pain and misfortune. I felt like I was destined to struggle. While others were living their dreams I was struggling. I just felt like God was forgetting all about me.

On 33rd street, I bumped into one of my friends from Missouri Boy’s State. I couldn’t believe that I just recognized him in a sea of people. The world is not big at all. We started to catch up while we were on the subway; I was on my way to a August Wilson Symposium. I started to spill my life to Havis; I didn’t mean to, but I had to talk to someone. Across from us was this black woman who seemed to have a permanent smile on her face. Her face was very kind.

Before I reached my stop, the woman reached over and gave me some index cards with scriptures from James written on them. “You Betta Preach,” was the only thing that came out of my mouth. I was so taken back by God’s ability to remind me that He is still there in the midst. At that moment I felt like everything was going to be just fine; He has my back.

The symposium was amazing. It was exactly what I needed; I needed some kind of inspiration. Robert O’Meally( author of "Lady Day: The Many Faces of Billie Holiday) was there, Kevin Carroll (Broadway actor), and most importantly, Ruben Santiago-Hudson (Lackawanna Blues) was there. I was on cloud 9. Y'all know how much I love Lackawanna Blues!To hear them talk passionately about the works of Mr. August Wilson left me in awe. They talked with so much conviction and passion.

The evening became a theatrical workshop when Ruben and Kevin tag teamed monologues and dialogues from some Mr. Wilson’s plays. I was on the edge of my seat taking notes. I couldn’t believe that I was experiencing this. They both got lost in August’ way of conveying the African American experience through rhythm. “It’s all about the rhythm. You have to work towards the thought of what the character is trying to say,” Ruben explained. August’s plays were like music. It captivated people and changed lives just like music does. I was eating this all up.

At the end of the symposium, I had to meet Mr. Santiago-Hudson. He was a major influence on me as an actor. I walked up to him, shook his hand and fell apart. I was so emotionally unstable at this moment, but I had to talk to him. “Sir, I’m so influenced by you. I loved your work in Lackawanna Blues.” My nerves began to rob me of what I wanted to say. In order to combat the incompetence to speak I had to say exactly how I felt. “Sir, (sigh) I want to learn from you.... and I don’t know if it is possible… I wouldn’t care if you just wanted to share with me about a certain blues song… it doesn’t matter.” At this moment, I lost myself. “Sir, I just moved to New York in August to follow my dreams as an actor and a singer. But recently, it’s been hard.” My eyes began to water, “ today was very discouraging. My dream is so big that I don’t know how to start pursuing it. I came to this symposium to get that encouragement, that inspiration that I needed.”

He smiled at me. I just knew that he was thinking that I was a lunatic. “I know what you are going through; I was once there. Here, take down my email address so we could get some coffee or tea and talk.” I was about to fall out. “You know I have a blues band, I might let you come and sing with us some time. Keep in contact with me.”
At that moment, the moment when my eyes started to tear up, I realized that I was equally passionate about acting ust as I am about music. I knew at that moment that I seriously want to pursue acting too. When the tears started to form, I was like, “where did that come from?” I was passionate about it.

I was crying out to Mr. Santiago-Hudson. I just wanted someone to take me seriously and see my heart, my determination. I wanted guidance. I wanted wisdom. I will never forget that experience. God knew exactly what I needed.
I realized that today was the breaking point that people must go through when they pursue their dreams. This sort of breaking point is what separates the soldiers from the ordinary people. You have to go through this period of darkness and warfare in order for the dream to develop into your reality. Most of the time, people retreat when this period comes into their lives. I couldn’t give up. As much as I wanted to give up there was something inside me saying, “Ra, you can’t give up.” I seriously couldn’t give up. God has me in New York for a reason. I have to just give everything to him, all of my problems. I have to be still and watch Him work. I’m going to be ok. He said, that He would finish the work that he started in me. He would give me the desires of my heart. I am a performer who is joint heir to the King who owns cattle on a thousand hills. I will be just fine.

I have to claim my dreams!

Yours,

Ra
P.S. If you haven't seen Lackawanna Blues you are definately sleep. WAKE UP!!!

In a Room of Legends

2007-01-18T14:04:00.000-08:00

Last week I attended the Ella Fitzgerald Postage Stamp Unveiling at Jazz at the Lincoln Center. It was amazing. The Julliard Quartet played beautifully as we came into the Theatre. Guess what? Nancy Wilson was the Mistress of Ceremony. I was tripping out. I have so many of her records on vinyl. The woman is amazing. She speaks with a wit and regal voice. She speaks as a queen might speak. She is truly a legend.
The cermony went on with tribute to the "First Lady of Song," it was beautiful. I was in a room of legend. There were times that I felt like I didn't belong, but I was sure that God was just giving me a glimpse of my future. Those who attended the ceremony: Duke Ellington's Grandaughter, Mercedes Ellington, Paul Roberson's son, Paul Roberson Jr., James Moody, Gerald Wilson, John Levy (manager of Nancy Wilson, Donny Hathaway, Sarah Vaughan, Roberta Flack), and Ella's son, Ray Brown, Jr. I was about to go crazy. I couldn't believe that I was witnessing this.
After the ceremony, I stood around trying to take it all in. I wanted so badly to meet these legnds. I walked over to the stage and saw Nancy Wilson walking down the stairs. So I took her hand and helped her. I was like a little kid. I said, "Ms. Wilson, I'm trying to get my words together. I just moved to New York to go for my dream as a entertainer. It is an honor to finally meet you. Do you mind if I take a picture with you?" She laughed as I took my cell phone out. "Boy, those camera phones take horrible pictures," she laughed. It was the most amazing experience in my life. So y'all dreams do come true, but you have to believe that they will.
Ra

P.S. Check out one of Nancy's earlier performances: http://youtube.com/watch?v=nOD77qSBWeg

It's Been A Long, Long Time.

2007-01-15T15:59:00.000-08:00

Hey y'all,
It's been a while; I'm sorry. What's good, people!!!??? Everything is good in my neck of the woods. Let's see... how can I recap all that's been going on. Hmmm.... let's start with today. I had my first audition today; The Lion King were holding a open call audition this afternoon. It was mad talent in the place. I'm talking about people who can sang there butts off.

My nerves were on edge until I got to the door of the audition room. I felt peace. I I had to remember that no one could take away what God called me to do. I couldn't let anyone rob me of the passion that woke me up every morning. What could man do? Once I stopped and just gave it over to the Lord, an utter peace came over me. I walked in ready to sing my 8 bar song; the fear had faded.
I couldn't believe that I auditioned. I finally pushed myself out there and went for it. I was overjoyed. I didn't care if I got a part or not; I was going for my dream. Just singing in front of someone brought me joy. I was so excited. Well, keep praying for me y'all, I have another audition tomorrow.

Guess what?? I met Ornette Coleman today at a deli. If you don't know who he is look him up. I was tripping out!!!! Sorry this entry is all over the place, but who cares.

Well, I will keep you posted on what's going on. Feel free to drop me a line when you can.
I'm @ the B.E.A.C.H. (Basking Everlasting After Choosing Heaven),
RA

Ed Bradley: The Essence of Cool

2006-11-10T10:02:00.000-08:00

I was sad yesterday; another black, postitve figure passed away, Mr. Ed Bradley. I sat at my computer in bewilderment. "How can the coolest man in the world die?" I couldn't get that at all. He was cool, so cool that I wanted to be like him. I loved watching his indepth, but relaxed interviews, Tavis Smiley reminded me of him in many ways. I used to love seeing how relaxed and relatable he was in his intervierws on 6o Minutes. I was blown away by his charm, intellignce, since of style, and his humerous and humble nature. He was the essence of cool. For a black man to wear a golden loop in his left ear and be a journalist of an internationally known network, that was amazing to me. He was a role model to Black America.
He has flirted with Lena Horne, joked with Muhammed Ali, and has challenged the grandson of Carolyn Bryant (the accuser in the Emmett Till case) and Timothy Mc Vey. He was a genius. Oh, how blessed are the people who were able to be in his presence to talk with Mr. Bradley. I wish I could have met this man. I wish I could've asked him story upon story. I wish I could have asked his advice on being a black man in America. I never knew how much he's impacted me until today, the day of his death. I remember now, he was the only reason I watched 60 Minutes. Everytime I watched him I was learning a new lesson on how to be an effective, intelligent, black man. He was a man who broke down racial barriers. He lived with the desire to be a role model to black, young men. "The pressure is there," Bradley said. "It's been there everyday of my life."
The legends are dying and passing their legacies down to us. It is our obligation to not let them down. The music out today does not have any lasting or impactful power like it once used to. That's wrong. We are not keeping up our end of the bargin. We are not carrying on the legacies of our legends. I cannot leave this earth without impacting and inspiring people all over this world. If I leave this world without upholding my end of the bargain, to carry on the legacy, it is my fault and my shame.

Pray for the family of Ed Bradley. If you are not familiar with his legacy, please click on this link.

Let's quit playing and impact the lives of others.
RA

Kurt Elling is the MAN!!!

2006-11-09T14:53:00.000-08:00

The concert last night was amazing! I sat in the audience like a kid in the candy store, mouth was wide open. I couldn't believe that I was experiencing this. Seeing Kurt Elling was like I was getting a chance to sit in on a master class. The way he phrased his words and the way he injected emotion in every song kept me captivating. The man, can do so many things with his voice, it's crazy. I was up there taking mental notes all through the show.
He sung alot of original compositions and many Jon Hendricks style vocalese. The man was amazing. I've been wanting to see him live for the longest time. I remember when I first heard his music. I was passing some students in the hall way of the music department of my old school University of Missouri- Kansas City. The man had a certain tone that had me thinking that he was a brotha. When I saw the cover of his CD he was white as ever (lol) I was hooked.
After the show, I stood in the lobby to see if anything would pop off. Kurt Elling came out signing autographs. I was trying to get my words together before I approached him. He was the coolest cat; he had a lot of wisdom. I told him that I admired his music and that I wanted to learn from him. There I go again, wanting someone to take me under their wing and invest in me. "Man, I would love to, but I don't live in New York," he said. "You have to work harder than everyone else. Practice, perform and study." I was taking it all in. He told me that he was going to listen out for my name in the industry. Man, that was so cool. I put my headphones and started singing all the way back home. I was singing so loud that people probably thought something was wrong with me.
Well, dreams are coming true. Keep praying. Until next time, take care.
Ra

P.S. Check out Kurt's music www.myspace.com/kurtelling

Raffeal and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

2006-11-08T19:21:00.000-08:00

The day was long with many of winding turns. I spent all day at Verve today. I was there from 10:30-7:00; a brotha was tired. I could feel the week old stress all over my body. I was a little overwhelmed with all that was going on throughout the week; it caught up with me.
After I left Verve, I walked down the street for pizza, because I was famished (big word). It was dark and rainy outside, I do believe that my attitude was a reflection of it. Just as I was standing, waiting for the light to change, a taxi zoomed by and christend me with New York Yuckness. It was just like the movies. Was I having a "terrible, no good, very bad day" today? (That's before your time! What do y'all know about that book?) I was in the play some years ago. I though you ought to know (lol).
So there I was, walking into Ray's pizza drenched. I was so hungry. I thought "Pick on Raffeal Day" was growing nigh, but, boy, was I wrong. I reached to sprinkle some garlic on my pizza and what do you know? I opened the wrong end and all of the garlic dumped itself onto my plate. I was borderline "postal" by this time.
So I sat down to eat my garlic topped pizza and it was mad cold. I could feel the smoke coming out of my ears and nostrils. I put my headphones on to help me ease my mind. I had my tracks set to shuffle; I wasn't aware of what song would be played next. God was the DJ for my Ipod today. As soon as I pressed play, Kirk Franklin's "More Than I Can Bear" started to play. I closed my eyes and took it in. I knew at that moment that God was trying to remind me of His faithfulness and peace. He wanted me to be still and know that He will never give me more than I could bear. What was I trippin' for?
At 8:30pm, I will be attending Kurt Elling's concert at Carnegie Hall. I'm sooooo excited! I will not leave this earth without performing at Carnegie Hall; it's my dream!!! I can't believe that I'm going to see Kurt Elling; the man is amazing!! If you don't know who he is, educate yourself and check out his myspace. (www.myspace.com/kurtelling)
I'm hustlin' up here in the land of hustlers. Sammy Davis once said, "if you want to be the best, baby, you better work harder than everyone else." I'm exhausted, but I know God will sustain me. I want to perform so bad that I'm constantly restless. I pray that God would extend His grace towards me tomorrow; I have to go to work at 4:4m am. Y'all know that I'm not a morning person.

Until next time.

Peace,
Ra

New York State of Mind

2006-11-02T12:53:00.000-08:00

Ok...kill me, kill me...I know that I haven't updated you in a minute, but I can explain. I've been mad busy; trying to get that "New York State of Mine." I know, corny right? Well, today I just started my 1st day at Starbucks; it was cool. It feels good to be able to have some income coming in. This particular Starbucks is small and more laid back. I can see myslf enjoying it. I have to get used to it though; I have 4am shifts. I can't be a night owl anymore.
I have decided to stay in New York. It was one of the biggest decision I had to make. I had to pray hard and specific to get my answer. I can't fear this new chapter in my life. Each day I'm learning that it is imperative to trust, no, have faith that God would protect, provide, and revive me. I have to be a grown man (lol). I have to go for my dream.

Ok...... now I have to recap and dig up stories from 3 or four weeks ago. My friend Mia, from school, told me that she and Maestro (school buddy and pianist) were coming to visit me on fall break. I was so excited. Anyway, they told me that they were coming in town, but they failed to give me the details about what time their flights were arriving. I didn't know if I was supposed to meet them at the airport or what. With the lack of knowledge about their whereabouts I just chilled.
Around 2, I decided to walk up the street to return some books to the library. While walking, I happened to look up and there was Mia, Maestro, Crystal, and Wendy walking across the street with their luggage. "Y'all lying!!" was the only thing that came out of my mouth. These crazy people surprised me. I just talked to Crystal 2 nights before; she told me that she wasn't able to come until New Years. They pulled a fast one on me; I had no idea. Later on that evening, Alvin and Will (from school) joined us. It looked like Belmont was taking over the Big Apple.

It was so refreshing to be around some people that knew me and wanted to hang with me. Shoot,I was starting to feel like a stranger in New York. I took them to my favorite restaraunts: BBQ's and Amy Ruth. When I say we through down, we through down. We cleaned those plates. It was so wonderful.

I had to endure many long, long hours of purse shopping with the girls on Canal street. Thank the Lord that I had my boys to keep me company. :)They were going crazy to find that perfect purse; I didn't get it, all the purses looked alike to me. They really enjoyed themselves and I enjoyed, even that experience, with them.

Later on we road a train all the way to Red Bank, New Jersey to see our friend, Rebecca Covington (Belmont Alum) perform in Ain't Misbehain'. She was amazing! She was the youngest person in the cast. The older actors couldn't hold a candle to her. That girl was shining!! To us, she already made it.

Two days later, we got the opportunity to experience the broadway debute of our friend Daniel Watts (new roommate) in the hit musical The Color Purple. The show was amazing. Mia stood in line early in that morning and got us tickets for the 2nd row. The tickets were $25. That's crazy, huh? It was amazing! Daniel was amazing! That musical left me feeling inspired and moved. Mia was balling her eyes out. I felt like God was giving her a glimpse of her future. Broadway is where her heart lies. I beleive that God is going to bless her with an opportunity to grace a Broadway stage someday, I can feel it.

Well, there you have it. I hope I didn't leave anything out. Again, I ask for you guys to keep me in your prayers. Pray that God would continue to grow me up and keep me consecrated to Him and His will. Pray that we find a reasonal apartment by December. Pray for the health and the spiritual well being of my family. Pray that God would protect me financially. Pray that God would continue to put amazing people in my life to help further my Christian walk and my career as an artist. Until then I'll be patient...ooh pray for that. In between blessing are killers. I'll be all right, I'll be fine. I am joint heirs with Christ; He will not forsake me.

Peace,
Ra

Learning From the Greats

2006-10-10T21:48:00.000-07:00

Today was wonderful at Verve Records. I got the opportunity to meet a legend, Gene Paul, Les Paul's son. Les Paul was the first to develop the multi-track studio. Y'all know about the Les Paul guitar, right? Well, anyway, my supervisor, Jesse, and I had to drop off some music so it could get mastered. Jesse introduced me to all of the engineers, but it didn't ring a bell that Gene was Les Paul's son. I started looking around at some of the pictures on the walls of the studio. Then suddenly, I saw a picture of Atlantic recording artists, Aretha Franklin, Wilson Pickett, and Donny Hathaway, together. I was tripping out. Y'all know that Donny Hathaway is one of my favorite singers!!! "That's Gene Paul, right there," Jesse said. He was standing right next to Aretha and Donny in the photo. I was tripping out! I later realized that the man who was mastering our music was Gene Paul. I was about to go crazy! This man has engineered some history’s greatest albums. He engineered all of Donny Hathaway's albums. He engineered Aretha's "Young, Gifted and Black" album and he engineered Roberta Flack's hit, "Killing Me Softly With His Song." I was about to lose my mind!!!
We sat there for hours talking. He talked about going on the road with his father, seeing Ella Fitzgerald perform when he was a kid, and he told stories about all of his legendary studio sessions. I was like a kid in a candy store. He talked about how he remembered watching Aretha Franklin singing on Ed Sullivan; he hoped to work with her someday. Years later he found himself engineering most of her albums on Atlantic. That story blew my mind. He told us that Donny was a genius. Everything that Donny touched was amazing!! He told us when Donny died; everyone was so torn up at Atlantic.
As the hours went by, I sat there with my mouth wide open. This man worked with the greats. He kept emphasizing how important it is to learn from the greats. He didn't believe the "kids" today were educating themselves. He felt like the music today is not reflecting pure talent; I wanted to give him a high five after that comment (hence Paris Hilton's new album). This man had some wisdom; I could have picked his brain all day. I can't believe how God is working things out. My passion has been ignited again. As a young artist, it is our obligation to the artists who came before us, to revive music into its original purpose: to heal, to uplift, and to empower. The world is waiting!
Let’s live out our passions,
Ra

The Legendary Buck O'Neil (1911-2006)

2006-10-10T19:54:00.000-07:00

My mother told me this morning that Buck O'Neil passed away a couple of days ago. I've been behind on the news since I don't own a TV. Buck O'Neil is gone; I was tripping out. He became a hometown hero in Kansas City. He was a part of the Kansas City Monarchs along with Satchel Paige during the Negro Baseball League. He also became the first black coach of a baseball team. He was also influential in creating the Negro Baseball League Museum on historic 18th & Vine. The museum is truly amazing!! He worked there as chairman up until his death. It's actually directly down the street from my mother's house.
He was a legend. Whenever I would see him around town, I would become star struck. I always wanted to sit down and talk with him, pick his brain. I wanted to just soak up his wisdom and lsiten to his stories. I'm sad that I never got the chance to meet him. The last time that I was in Kansas City, I saw him getting out of his gold Cadilac in front of the museum. I should have approached him.
It's unfortunate that he didn't make it into the Baseball Hall of Fame this year, but it didn't bother him. He walked this earth for 94 years impacting this world, giving hope and diginty to African Americans, that's the greatest honor. I hope to follow in his footsteps. I hope that God would allow me to live a purposeful, long life, so that I might be able to leave a legacy that will never be forgotten. Thank you Buck, for showing this world that a life soley based on God can create a wellspring of blessings. You have impacted me.
Thank you,
Raffeal A. Sears
P.S. Check out MSN's video tribute to Buck O'Neil. Feel free to leave comments.

Makin' Whoopi

2006-10-03T23:31:00.000-07:00

What's good y'all,
It's been a while. Warning: THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG ENTRY But you don't care, because you are going to read every word, right? RIGHT?? God has been blowing my mind, y'all. Let's start with today. Y'all I got to meet Whoopi Goldberg at Barnes and Noble today. I almost lost my mind!!!! She was doing a signing for her new children's book, "Whoopi's Big Book of Manners." Everyone lined up to get an autograph; everyone was ready to take pictures. I wanted to be set apart; I wanted her to notice me. I asked God if He would show His favour on me.
So, I finally got to the front of the line; I was trying to get my words together, because I knew that my time was limited. I finally got right in front of her my heart was beating so fast. She reached for my book, ready to sign it. "I don't want your autograph," I said. "I just wanted to thank you for your body of work. I am an aspiring actor/ singer. I just moved to New York to further my career. Thank you so much for inspiring me." She put the sharpie down, sat back in her chair, and grinned. "Thank you so much,"she sighed. "I really appreciate that. You made my day." I was going crazy inside. I wanted to say, "Fo' Real?"
I couldn't leave. I still wanted to tell her what was on my heart. STALKER,RIGHT?! (LOL) I sat in the back of the room and started writing a letter. I wanted to emphasize my desire to learn. After reading, Rainer Maria Rilke's book, "Letters to a Young Poet" (Y'all Need to read this) I've been so inspired to go for my dreams. She gave “Letters” to Lauryn Hill's character in Sister Act 2. I believe if you truly want to be great, you have to learn from the greats. I just told her that I want her wisdom on becoming a better actor/ performer.
I jumped back into the line once the line got shorter. I was nervous. “Were they going to turn me away?” I finally approached her; she greeted me with a big smile. I put the letter in her hands. “Now, I’m not trying to stalk you!!! (lol) She laughs. “I didn’t get to tell you what was truly on my heart, so I decided to write you a letter.” “You are all right,” she laughs and gives me a high five. I was on cloud 9. God is the bomb!!
Last night, my boy Chester and I went to the famous Blue Note. Now, y’all, this is the place where famous jazz cats like Sarah Vaughan, Count Basie, George Benson, and Ray Charles performed. I was trippin’. We went to see Robert Glasper’s band and special guest Talib Kweli. Marcus (Hill), “Lil’ Lil’ Boy” the drummer was amazing!!! His name was Chris Dave (www.myspace.com/chrisdaddydave). The band was amazing!!! Talib came out and rocked it. He did some new materials which were hot!!! I can’t believe all that I’m experiencing.
God, is doing His thing!! I just can’t wait to see what God has in store. I have to remember this day. I have to remind myself of God’s grace and blessings, so I can combat the dark hours of discouragement and warfare. It is so easy to forget what He’s done when darkness arise; I’m so bad at that. Well, y’all keep praying for me. New music is on its way. God’s been teaming me up with some really creative people. We’ve been really vibing. Pray that God would lead me to those who are like minded and willing to help make my dreams come true. Still looking for a church, please pray. I’ve seen some bad days, but days like this have to override my bad days. I have not time to fret and feel discouraged. God, Jesus Christ, is powerful and He lives in me. I’ll be ok. Well, until then, I’ll talk to y’all later.

Peace,
Ra
P.S. I just got my Bible Experience audio Bible. If you haven’t ordered or picked up these CDs you are sleep. Wake up!!!!!

WOW, WOW, WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

Ok...I'm tripping. I haven't updated my blog in a minute. Now I got to recap a whole week worth of info. I'll start with today. I love my internship at Verve. I work in the A&R and International department. Well today, my supervisor and I had to pickup some folders at Jam paper store. While shopping I saw this light-skinned woman in the next aisle. She looked sooo familiar. I couldn't help myself, I had to go up to her. I asked her, "Did you play Hillary on the Fresh Prince?" She replied,"Yes I did. Hi, I'm Karyn. You have good eyes." I guess she didn't think anyone would recognize her. Karyn Parsons!!!!Y'all she was soooo nice. It's really cool when a celebrity is cool and down to earth. I was tripping out.
It's been wonderful up here in NYC. I've been enjoying every bit of it. I've been going to concerts and open mics almost everyday...well not everyday, but it seems like it. I went to the Sugar Bar, a venue owned by Ashford & Simpson. It was a really cool place. I'm going to perform at their open mic one of these Thursday. Last Wednesday, I went to SOB's, the place where John Legend got his start. Eric Roberson, the cat who wrote "Previouscats" for Musiq and "Emotional Rollercoaster" for Vivian Green was hosting the show. It was amazing!!! Sol Edler, a soul cat from Washington, DC performed that night. He tore it up. We had previously met through Myspace. He is really cool people.
Chester Gregory, the star of Tarzan on Broadway performed his set. The man is amazing. He had amazing band, backup singers, and songs. The cat can blow!!! I had to go up to him; I wanted to learn from him. Y'all know I'm all about learning from those who are doing what I aspire to do.
Now this is funny, I met a group of people that I've been communcating with on Eric Roberson's forum. They were all at the show. They were soooo cool! They made me feel like I was family. God is hooking me up!!!! *the picture of us is at the top of this entry.
Last but not least, I just got a call from Chester Gregory. He wants me to do this gig in Brooklyn. I was a little nervous, but I had to just say yes. God didn't give me the spirit of fear. He told me that he will take care of getting my band assembled. Ain't that crazy??? God is doing His thing!!!!!
Well ya'll, I got to go. Y'all know I can talk (lol). Leave me feedback; I love feedback. Pray that I continue to obey God and remain concecrated to Him. Pray that God would bring some amazing Christians in my life. Pray that I be a light in the darkness of the music industry.

Peace,
Ra

Blocking the Writing, Holding Back the Blessing

2006-09-16T22:58:00.000-07:00

Tupac Shakur : 10 years already

2006-09-13T22:40:00.000-07:00

In the event of my Demise
when my heart can beat no more
I Hope I Die For A Principle
or A Belief that I had Lived 4
I will die Before My Time
Because I feel the shadow's Depth
so much I wanted 2 accomplish
before I reached my Death

I have come 2 grips with the possibility
and wiped the last tear from My eyes
I Loved All who were Positive
In the event of my Demise
-Tupac Amaru Shakar

Ok...I can't believe that it's been 10 years since Tupac Shakur lost his life. That's crazy! When I woke up this morning I quickly remembered that Sept 13th was the anniversary of his death. I loved the honesty of Tupac. If he was in love, he would say it. If he was pissed off about something that was unjust, he would express it. If he was emotional and passionate about something, he would show it. He lived a life that displayed mere humanity.
About three years ago, I became a fan of Tupac. I became a fan of his hunger and passion. In the midst of the contradictory portrayals in the media of his life, I was determined to find the real Tupac. I read, The Rose That Grew From the Concrete and his book of poetry, was blown away by the Tupac that I discovered. I didn't find the "thugged out, contraversial" Tupac that the media deemed him to be. I found a person who was wise beyond his years. I found the true Tupac, the heart of Tupac. I can honestly say that his life has affected me. I am constantly inspired by his vision to live a "Thug Life" (the ability to not allow your oppressed background to hinder your dreams.)Tupac's idea of a thug was a person who had to hustle their way out of the life of disappointments and misfortunes in order to live the life that they were called to live. I am living the Thug Life right at this moment by being in New York, going for my dreams. I encourage everyone to live that Thug Life. Go for your passions!!!
Live the life that God has called you to live. Let's honor the life of Tupac Shakur by living a Thug Lif, a life that is soley concecrated on God and soley concentrated on His Will for us.

Settling is the Norm, Living out your dreams is the minority.

Let's live out our dreams,
Ra

On The Roof

2006-09-10T10:23:00.000-07:00

First my iPod, now MY iBOOK

2006-09-06T12:41:00.000-07:00

OK ya'll! God is really trying toteach me something. How about two weeks ago my IPOD broke. Yesterday, my labtop broke. The computer specialists said that it would cost $600 dollars to fix it. I was about to trip out. Well the blessing is that I didn't lose anything; my hard drive is fine. I have to trust God. This warfare has to be for a reason. Hopefully, this will prepare me for big things. Pray for me y'all; I'm sick. Y'all know I love my computer and my IPoD. Oh well, God'll do His thing.
Ra

The Bible Experience

2006-08-28T21:52:00.000-07:00

Ok guys,
I am tripping over this new audio Bible that is coming out called "The Bible Experience." It is an all black cast: Denzel and his wife, Hill Harper, Charles s. Dutton, Common, Blair Underwood, Tatyana Ali, Sanaa Lathan, Donnie McClurkin, Yolanda Adams, Hill Harper, Cuba Gooding Jr., Angela Bassett, and many more. Check out the link of the behind the scenes of the recording. It is amazing. The New Testament CD will be coming out in September. Go out and get this; God is going to do a lot with this. I already requested to pre-order it. Make sure y'all check out the trailer video. Blair Underwood plays Jesus. His performance is amazing it sent chills up and down my spine. Pass on the word.

Ra
(the research boy)

The video trailer:
http://link3.streamhoster.com/?u=inspiredby&p=/The+Bible+Experience-h.mov&odaid=3548&prog=true

The CBS coverage:
http://cbs2.com/video/?id=18652@kcbs.dayport.com

USA today article:
http://www.usatoday.com/life/2006-03-28-bible_x.htm

Website:
http://www.inspiredby.com/BibleExperience.htm

A sample of the CD:
http://wm.usatoday-na-central.edgestreams.net/wm.usatoday-na-central/audio/06/060328_bible01.wma

Cast List:
http://www.inspiredby.com/media/CastList.pdf

The Ellen Degeneres Show

2006-08-28T21:16:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,
Today was a wonderful day. Some of us Belmont East students were giving free tickets to The Ellen Degeneres Show; she was filming her premiere of her new season in Central Park. My friend Josh and I got to Central Park around 8:40; we beat the long line. We were actually second in the line. We stood in that line from 8:40am to about 2:15pm. It was crazy. Folks were getting antsy, I was getting hungry.

Finally we got to our seats; we were in the 5th role. There were 11,000 people there, it was amazing. We were told that there was going to be a special guest then before you know it Justin Timberlake came out. The man was awesome! I still can't stand that, "SexyBack" song. He sung the current single, a new song, and "Seniorita." The new song was classic Justin Timberlake; I liked that one. The band was clean and hitting every hit. It was incredible. I couldn't believe that I was experiencing this.

Then when we thought it couldn't get any better Beyonce came out; she was the special guest. I couldn't believe it!! I straight turned into a groupy. She was incredible. She had an all girl band who was killin' 'em. They were amazing!! Oh my gosh! That Beyonce was amazing. She sung "Deja Vu," a new single, and "Crazy in Love." People were going nuts, shoot I was tripping out. I couldn't believe that I was witnessing this. The whole time I kept saying to myself, "I can't wait to do that. I can't wait to perform in front of all those people." I was like a kid in the candy store.

So you guys gotta catch the show next Monday and next Tuesday. Monday the Timberlake show will air and Tuesday will be the Beyonce one. Look closely you might even see me. Check your local listings to find out what time the show comes on in your city. I'm seriously loving what God is doing. I can't wait to see what He has planned.
Ra

The John Legend Dream

2006-08-23T21:40:00.000-07:00

Greetings From the Big Apple

2006-08-23T21:38:00.000-07:00

Living Out My Dreams in New York City

2006-08-19T23:11:00.000-07:00

What’s good y’all?
Yes, I’m finally in the world of New York City!!! Finally!! The journey was long and strenuous, but I’m here. I recommend to everyone: if you truly have to travel DON’T TRAVEL ON THE GREYHOUND!!! I repeat DO NOT TRAVEL ON THE GREYHOUND!!! It was horrible!! It took me over twenty hours to get from Kansas City to New York. I was supposed to arrive on Friday at 12pm, but Greyhound thought it was funny to get me to NYC at 4pm. Then, my Ipod broke down minutes before I got on the bus. I had to spend the whole bus trip without my music; I was trippin’ out!!! My Ipod is dead y’all!!!
Ok…let me get back to the wonderful world of New York. I had 3 big ole’ humongous suitcases; I had to drag them everywhere. I had to take a taxi from the bus station to my dorm. I got in the taxi and I was like a kid in a candy store; I was trippin’ out. “Man, I’m in New York!” I can’t believe that I am finally here.
Ok... now….here’s the funny part: I got to my dorm thinking that my room was going to look like the pics on the internet. My New York experience has begun; my room was very small and the windows were facing the next building; you can’t see the sky. I was surprised but it was all good. My dorm is in a great location. I’m next to central park (my place to write my new hit songs) and close to Columbia University. I’m staying in the Upper West Side. Man, it’s beautiful! It’s quite. I’m glad that we are not living down in the tourist area like Time Square or something where it is always busy.
Fast-forward to today, I started to walk. I walked from 107th street to 68th street to try to feel my way around. While walking I discovered a block party where a live arigatone band was playing. Man, it was so awesome! The block was having a good time. I couldn’t believe that I was witnessing this! I mean, families were barbequing and dancing. It looked like a scene in a movie. It was amazing!
So I kept walking right, still upset that I wasn’t listening to my Ipod. Guess what? I discovered two Barnes and Noble, a Tower Records, and 3 or 4 Starbucks; I was in Heaven! I visited all of them.
I still can’t believe I’m here! I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me. Tomorrow, we are taking a cruise around New York. I’m a little nervous; I don’t like floating on water. On the 28th we’re going to a live taping of the Ellen Show in Central Park. Justin Timberlake is going to be the special guest. This week I have three interviews for an internship at Sony, Verve, and Warner Music Group. Praise God! Please pray that God would place me where I could learn how to be an effective businessman and a better artist. I’m so excited.
I didn’t tell you about the Subway…man, I love it! It can get you anywhere! I got the subway for Broadway down. I’ve been on that train everyday. Tomorrow, I’m going to get on it and ride it so I can get more familiar with the city. Ooh.. I can’t wait to go see Carnegie Hall, The African Slave Cemetery, The Huxtables’ house, Billie Holiday’s grave (morbid huh?), and the area where Café Society used to be. Ooh… I can’t wait to start gigging up here too. This place feels like home.
I want to say thanks to everyone who came to my going away party. You guys were sharp in your white. I also want to personally thank Crystal, Zakiyah, and Asa for planning the party behind my back and lying to my face when I was trying to get the details out of them (lol). I praise God for you. God always seems to show out when you feel like nothing’s going right. The love in the room was amazing that night; I could feel it. I thank y’all for your donations, advice, and prayers. Thank you guys for believing in me.
Well, this is the first of many emails that you guys are going to get about my new journey in the Big Apple. Well, ya’ll it’s getting late. Email me or call me if you guys have any suggestions on where to gig, eat or just visit. Talk to y’all later. I love y’all.

I’m at the B.E.A.C.H. (Basking Everlasting After Choosing Heaven),
Raffeal

Darnell Levine's Heard Darnell? Buzz Tour

2006-07-29T21:49:00.000-07:00

Check out Darnell at www.hearddarnell.com

Goapele Concert

2006-07-16T23:28:00.000-07:00

Birmingham, Alabama

2006-07-10T14:22:00.000-07:00

2006-07-03T20:30:00.000-07:00

2006-07-02T10:59:00.000-07:00

2006-07-02T10:55:00.000-07:00